Don't Go Away
by Lauren9
Summary: *COMPLETE* L/L! (Rating fluctuates between PG 13 and PG 13/R--in later chapters) An accident involving someone close to Luke, utimately, brings Luke and Lorelai together.
1. Alone

Author: Lauren  
  
Email: artista317@yahoo.com  
  
Pairing: L/L  
  
Summary: A drunk driver takes the life of someone close to Luke. Lorelai vows to help him get through it. In doing so, their relationship takes an unexpected turn.  
  
Rating: I'm going to say PG 13, for now, at least.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters (except Dr. Schillace), nor am I in connection with the people (Amy Sherman-Pallidino and whoever else) that do.  
  
Author's note: This is my third GG fanfic (okay, I've only *finished* one, so far, not including this one), but I'm still trying to capture the characters in my writing (and since this is a tragic fanfic there is less wit, in the beginning), so bear with me. Feedback will only make me a better writer, so please submit a review! *Constructive* criticism is welcomed. (Also, the main title is taken from Oasis' song "Don't Go Away," from their CD *Be Here Now*, Rachel's last name—which was not given on the show—was created by using the actress's real last name: Hadley, and to indicate italics—since for some reason they won't upload—I'm using stars: *.)  
  
__________  
  
Don't Go Away  
  
Part 1: Alone  
  
All she knew was that it was cold. Inside and out she was cold. There was no pain. Suddenly, everything was dark. She would wake a half an hour later, lying on the icy asphalt, a blanket covering her. She could feel that she was getting colder.  
  
She could hear sirens. There were red and blue lights swirling around her. A man came up beside her and touched the side of her neck before calling another man and mumbling, to him, some words she couldn't make out. They left her for a moment. She closed her eyes and before long she was drowning in the darkness again. But, this time she knew she wouldn't wake up.  
  
__________  
  
"I have a full house, Aces over Jacks. I win." Lorelai said, triumphantly. She was sitting at the counter; Luke was standing across from her. She took a long sip of coffee.  
  
"That was the last hand."  
  
"Fine, you owe me…twelve dollars…or four free coffees…your choice."  
  
He reached for his wallet. "Here. I would never give you free coffee…it's going to kill you someday."  
  
"Well, we all have to die sometime, don't we?"  
  
It was then the phone rang. In less time that it took to say it, Lorelai would regret that statement. Luke answered and she half-listened to his end of the conversation. "Hello? Yes, I am Luke Danes. Who is this? Yeah… What? Is she all right?" He looked towards Lorelai, "Where is she?" He scribbled something down on a pad of paper. "Yeah… I'll be right there." He hung up the phone and turned back to face her. "You have to go."  
  
"What? What's going on, Luke?"  
  
"Uh… Rachel…"  
  
"Okay, you're going to need to make a little more sense." He walked away to grab his coat. When he returned, he was awkwardly looking around.  
  
"There was an accident near Hartford… A drunk driver… Rachel was…" He stopped moving for a moment, "Where are my damn keys?"  
  
"Oh, Luke," she said, softly. "Where is she?"  
  
"Uh…the hospital in Hartford…here they are!" He looked at Lorelai, "You need to go."  
  
"Luke—"  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow." He walked with her towards the front door and, when they went outside, he locked it.  
  
"I-I'm so sorry." She whispered.  
  
"Goodnight, Lorelai." He answered, walking the opposite way. Lorelai could see the pain in his eyes. She knew that if she hadn't been there, he probably would have cried or yelled, or *something*…she knew there would have been some emotion to his words and actions.  
  
She watched him get into his truck and drive away.  
  
__________  
  
"Excuse me, Mr. Danes?" Luke looked up. A doctor was standing before him, his face held a solemn expression. "Hello. I am Dr. Schillace." He extended his hand. Luke stood and shook it. "Would you please step into the other room with me for a moment?" The doctor nodded towards a small room towards the front of the waiting room. Luke went in silence.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mr. Danes, but Ms. Hadley [A/N: If you didn't read the author's note at the beginning of this fan fic, I'm using "Hadley" for Rachel's last name, as it's the last name of the actress who portrayed her] was suffering from serious complications and paramedics were not able to revive her. She was announced dead on arrival," the doctor said slowly. "I'm so sorry for your loss."  
  
"Thank you," Luke murmured, almost inaudibly, as Dr. Schillace left.  
  
__________  
  
Alone, inside his truck, with no one to see him, no one to care, Luke let himself succumb to his emotions. He leaned his head back against the cool leather and listened to his breathing. *Rachel is gone. Rachel, your incredible, beautiful Rachel, has been taken away,* he thought. "Why couldn't it have been me?!" He suddenly yelled, hitting the wheel with the heel of his hand. *She had so much life in her…why was it her?* The thoughts circled through his head, *God, why couldn't I have, at least, had the chance to tell her that I loved her? Damn it! Why her? Why her?* 


	2. Solace...To Some Extent

Don't Go Away  
  
Part 2: Solace… To Some Extent…  
  
Rating: PG 13 (so I've been saying…it could change as the story progresses) for occasional language.  
  
Pairing: L/L  
  
Summary: In part one, Luke found out that Rachel (his old girlfriend from the 1st season) was in a car accident and that she didn't survive. We last saw him in his truck, finally "succumbing to his emotions" (I think that's what I used before). This chapter- Luke reveals to Lorelai what happened.  
  
Disclaimer: I *still* don't own the rights to Gilmore Girls, it's characters, etc, nor am I now, or ever been, in connection with the people that do.  
  
Author's Note: To make sure that people are actually reading this story and enjoying it I will not be posting the 3rd chapter until I get 5 positive reviews. So, if you like the story, please review! :) Thanks!  
  
__________  
  
"Mom?" Rory called from the kitchen. She was holding two mugs of coffee.  
  
"Couch." Lorelai answered. Rory kissed her cheek and handed her one of the mugs. Lorelai sipped. "Mm. Thanks, babe. Have plans for today?"  
  
"Lane and I are going to catch a movie."  
  
"Ooh, which one?"  
  
"The Time Machine."  
  
"Ah, I see. That Guy Pierce is pretty hot. Lane's mother doesn't know?"  
  
"Lane see movie with hot boy in it?" she said, imitating Ms. Kim, "Yeah, right. Lane said we were going to the library to study." Rory stood. "I'm going to go get dressed, then we'll go to Luke's?"  
  
"Sure." Lorelai took a long sip of coffee. Rory walked towards the kitchen. She stopped at the window and peered out.  
  
"Uh, Mom?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Luke is sitting on the porch steps."  
  
"What?" Lorelai got up to look out the window, where Rory was standing. "Oh my God, last night…I forgot…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Um, I'll, um, tell you about it later. Go get dressed." Lorelai opened the door and stepped outside.  
  
__________  
  
Lorelai sat down next to Luke on the step. "Hey."  
  
"Hey." He answered without looking at her. His eyes were fixated on something in the distance.  
  
"How's Rachel?"  
  
Luke waited for a while before answering. "I never realized that Rachel was human. I didn't seem to notice that she was mortal. She seemed different from all of that. I truly never thought that a day would come when she wouldn't be here. But now here I am…and she's…" Luke turned to her, tears forming at the corners of his eyes, "Rachel died last night. She died because so stupid punk decided that he was going to have some fun and drink a few beers before getting behind the wheel of a car and killing someone that I loved." His voice had gone from considerably calm to a louder, angrier tone. They remained like that for some time, until he pulled away from her.  
  
Lorelai took his hand in hers. She had heard, when he as speaking, that he was shaking. She could feel the same kind of tremors in his hand. "Oh Luke," she whispered. A tear ran down his cheek. "It's okay, Luke. Cry. Let everything out. I'm here…" She wrapped her arms around him and held him.  
  
"I-I just don't know how to deal with this." He said, slowly. His voice had softened to a barely audible murmur.  
  
After a while, Lorelai asked, "When's the wake and funeral?"  
  
"Uh, her brother called and told me the wake was in Hartford on Thursday. The funeral's on Sunday."  
  
"Would you like for me to go you?"  
  
He thought for a moment, "Yes."  
  
"Okay." She hugged him again. He stood. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." He nodded. 


	3. Nightmares and Revelations

Don't Go Away  
  
Part 3: Nightmares and Revelations  
  
Summary: Rachel was killed, tragically, in a car accident. Luke is trying to cope with it, with the help of Lorelai, who was just told in the last chapter. This chapter: Luke is "awakened" (both literally and figuratively) with a revelation about his life and the choices he's made.  
  
Disclaimer: I still have no rights what so ever to any of these characters (except the Dr. from chapter 1, and possibly Rachel's brother—I don't remember if she had one or not, but I said she did in chapter 2).  
  
__________  
  
Luke was happy to turn the sign to "Closed" at nine that night. It had been a long day. By then, people had found out about Rachel and he had had to listen to the sympathies and apologies his customers had given all day. Now, they were finally gone and he could go upstairs and sleep.  
  
Sleeping helped him forget the pain he was feeling. Sleeping let him lose all touch with reality and in that sleep he could leave himself, as well, and be anywhere with whoever he chose—dead or alive. In his dreams, he could still be with Rachel. He could still talk to her, and hear her laugh. He could still reach out to her, he could tell her, in those moments, that he will always love her, no matter if she is alive, with him, or gone. It was there, in that sleep, that he was free.  
  
It was close to eleven by the time Luke had finished cleaning the Diner and washing the dishes. He then to a shower and headed to bed.  
  
It wasn't long before he began to dream. But in this dream, Rachel wasn't there. Instead, he saw Lorelai, coffee in hand (it was, of course, rare to see her without one), laughing and talking to someone he couldn't see. He walked closer and tried to talk to her, but there was no voice and she didn't even look up. Suddenly, she was gone and the face of the person she had been talking to was visible to him. *That* person, was Rachel. Surprisingly, he found that he could speak to her. He asked where Lorelai had gone. She said that she was no longer a part of his life and not to worry about her. Rachel asked if he had ever told Lorelai he loved her. He shook his head.  
  
It was then he woke. He knew there was a reason why he wasn't able to cope with Rachel's death. He finally understood why it was that she was lingering in his mind. Yes, he had loved Rachel, but he hadn't been given the chance to tell her so before she died. It was a regret that he had to deal with now, and that, he realized, was what was haunting him.  
  
__________  
  
A/N: Yeah, the first 3 chapters have been kind of short (and slow), but I'm building up to one large chapter (probably the next one, or five, or so) where Luke and Lorelai will finally admit their feelings to one another (I have to get the Rachel stuff out of the way first, though, so bear with me). Hope you're enjoying it! Chapter 4 will be posted when there is a total of 10 reviews.  
  
(And for all you java junkies out there, I promise, it *will* happen in this story! You just have to give me another chapter or so… ) 


	4. No Longer a Regret...

Don't Go Away  
  
Part 4: No Longer A Regret…  
  
Rating: It's important to mention this here, I think. The rating is PG 13/R (for uh…some sexual content…It's not NC-17, but it's not meant for general audiences) for this chapter ONLY (unless mentioned otherwise). I'm leaving the general rating at PG 13, but please keep this in mind when reading.  
  
Summary: Rachel was killed in a car crash. Luke regrets that he never got the chance to tell her (Rachel) how much he loved her before he died. A dream made him realize that that is what has been haunting him and stopped him from mourning Rachel's death. This chapter: Luke vows not to let the same thing happen between him and Lorelai. (It's definitely *the* chapter for java junkies!)  
  
A/N: I will no longer be requesting reviews for chapter updates. However, please review anyway. It let's me know that people are reading (and enjoying) the story! :)  
  
__________  
  
It had begun to snow that morning, soft, small flakes falling through the gray-blue sky. It was the day of Rachel's funeral and Lorelai got up earlier than usual. The night before, she had disclosed to Rory what had happened (surprisingly, she had not yet heard) and had told her that she was going with Luke to the funeral the following day.  
  
She took her coat and scarf from the hook by the door and left for Luke's.  
  
Luke had woken hours earlier. There was a sign on the door that said the Diner was closed for the day. He had also put on a pot of coffee for when Lorelai came to get him.  
  
__________  
  
They had taken Luke's truck. The ride there had been silent. When they reached the church, Luke had parked the truck and gotten out, but it was then he stopped. Lorelai walked to him and took his hand in hers, leading him to the entrance. Rachel's family acknowledged them as they went inside.  
  
After the burial in the nearby cemetery, Luke and Lorelai remained until everyone else had left. She was still holding his hand, and to those who passed them, it may have seemed that he wouldn't be able to stand without her there. She asked if he wanted a moment. The cemetery was now empty, except for them. The snow was still circling around them. He nodded and Lorelai went back to the car to wait for him.  
  
A half an hour later, he still hadn't come back. Lorelai walked to where he was and saw him kneeling in the snow at the headstone, the rose he hadn't laid upon her casket earlier still in his hand. She walked to Luke and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, his eyes red from crying. She leaned down and held him.  
  
After a while, he pulled away from her and placed the rose on the top of the headstone. He whispered something that Lorelai couldn't hear, then stood.  
  
"Are you ready to go?" She asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
They walked together to his truck.  
  
__________  
  
The ride back to Stars Hollow was as silent as the ride from. When she stepped out of the truck, Luke asked her if she wanted to come inside for some coffee. She agreed and followed him. He led her upstairs, to his apartment. It was Spring vacation for Jess and he had gone home to visit his mother.  
  
Luke started the coffee maker on the counter and Lorelai sat down on the couch.  
  
"I've spent the last week trying to figure out what to say to make you feel better, to make this, somehow, okay." She said, softly.  
  
He looked up. "I don't know if there's anything you could say right now." She nodded. He got a mug out of the cupboard and placed it on the counter before walking over to her. Luke took in a deep breath before speaking again. "I need to tell you something, but I don't know how."  
  
"Luke, you don't—"  
  
"Yes, I do." He said, interrupting her. He paused for moment and walked towards her. "I had this dream last night. You were there and so was Rachel. You were talking to her. I walked toward you and I must have blinked or something, because the next moment, you weren't there. I asked her where you went and she asked me…uh, a question." He paused again, "I woke up and I realized what was missing, why I couldn't mourn Rachel's death and move on. I didn't have a chance to tell her, before she died, what I needed to. I can't take that chance again."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
He took in a shaky breath and walked the final steps that separated them. "I can't risk not telling you how I feel. Lorelai, I…" He tried to form the words, but he realized there was no voice backing them. He looked deep into her eyes and took her face in his hands. Her eyes searched Luke's for an explanation, but within a second she wouldn't need one.  
  
He leaned down and kissed her deeply. She had certainly not expected him to do so, and was taken aback momentarily. To her own surprise, she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck. He opened his mouth and she did too, their tongues meeting and twisting. He walked backwards, towards his bedroom, never letting her go. She could feel his hands at the buttons on her shirt. They separated briefly and she put her hands over his while she watched him. When he was finished she looked back up at him and kissed him again.  
  
He gently lifted her in his arms and laid her on the bed. He reached for the side zipper on her skirt and she pulled away from him.  
  
"Luke…Luke, we can't," she whispered. She lay on her side, facing him. She had had the occasional thought of this with Luke but she never really considered them having a relationship that didn't mean just being friends. Her hand lightly grazed his cheek as she spoke. "I can't do this. You're hurting and I can't do this without feeling like I'm taking advantage of you and the way you feel right now."  
  
"I love you, Lorelai. I've loved you for so long." Her heart jumped. "Rachel left last summer because she knew I was in love with you. And in my dream last night, she asked if I told you. That's why I couldn't let go of her. I hadn't had the chance to tell her that I loved her before she was gone. I didn't want that to happen to us. I couldn't make the same mistake."  
  
She kissed his forehead. "I love you, too." The words left her mouth before she even thought of saying them, but she knew that they were true and that she wasn't going to take them back. Luke, smiling for the first time that week, took her in his arms again and held her tightly.  
  
__________  
  
A/N: I don't know if this is the end or not. We'll see. If it's not, java junkies will want to read through the end because I promise that if I do continue, this isn't how I'm going to leave Luke and Lorelai…  
  
Please remember to review if you haven't already. Should I continue? I could use some ideas for what should happen in the next chapter or so, if I decide to! :) 


	5. Here's to the Night

Don't Go Away  
  
Part 5: Here's to the Night…  
  
Rating: Um, I'll leave it at the PG13/R for right now, I guess. Does it really matter that much to anyone, though?  
  
Summary: Rachel was killed in a car crash. Luke regrets that he never got the chance to tell her (Rachel) how much he loved her before he died. A dream made him realize that that is what has been haunting him and stopped him from mourning Rachel's death. Luke finally told Lorelai that he loved her, in hopes that if he ever lost her, she would at least know the truth. She answered that she loved him too (Aww!!! :) Anyway, this chapter: Luke and Lorelai spend the night together... (It's another chapter for java junkies!)  
  
A/N: Story updates may come less frequently. I've been sick this week and I've had nothing to do, so this is what I've been doing, but I plan to be back at school tomorrow so I won't be able to spend all this time writing. Also, the title for this chapter was taken from Eve6's song "Here's to the Night" from their *Horrorscope* album. Please review! Thanks! :)  
  
__________  
  
Lorelai turned in his arms. "I don't want you to be alone tonight."  
  
"Then stay." He said, softly.  
  
"I need to call Rory." She slipped out of his arms. He pushed himself up on one elbow and watched her cross the room. *I can't believe I told her. I can't believe that this is happening… God, she's beautiful. But is this too soon?* He thought.  
  
She picked up the phone and dialed. Balancing it between her shoulder and chin, she turned from Luke and re-buttoned her shirt. "Rory? Hey sweetie… I'm at Luke's… Yeah… It went well, I guess… Um, I'm going to be home late… Uh…tomorrow? Yes, at Luke's… I'll see you in the morning… I love you, too… Goodnight." She poured a cup of coffee from the pot on the counter before returning to Luke in the bedroom.  
  
Lorelai sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at him over the rim of the mug as she sipped at the coffee. "You look good."  
  
Luke smirked. "Good, how?"  
  
She smiled and placed her mug on the night stand. "You look better than you did earlier."  
  
"I feel better than I did earlier." He answered, his voice still soft. He reached for her and pulled her down beside him. She kissed his mouth gently. He smiled again. "You taste like coffee."  
  
"Ah, well that's the price you pay for kissing me." She smirked. He put his hand behind her head and pulled her lips to his. He kissed her passionately. "Luke, are you sure?"  
  
"If you are."  
  
She paused. "I am." She kissed him again. Thoughts raced through her head, *This is Luke! Luke…your backwards-hat-wearing-coffee-provider. What are you doing?* She opened her mouth to allow his tongue, which was already poised on her lips. *Oh, God, this feels so right.* Her hands were running along the collar of his shirt then down along his suit jacket. She slipped her hands beneath the black fabric, over his chest and shoulders. His jacket slid over his shoulders and she moved her hands along his arms. He pulled away so he could un-do her shirt again and she was reaching for his belt.  
  
When he had gotten her shirt off, he pulled her close to him. Her skin was so warm. He buried his face in the space between her neck and shoulder. *Strawberries* he thought, noticing her shampoo or soap. He kissed her neck softly and she held his head to her, her fingers getting lost in his hair. Luke felt her fingertips travel over his back then around to the front of his body, fingering the buttons of the oxford shirt he was wearing. She reached for his tie, first though, remembering it was there. It had been loosened some from before and she easily pulled it undone. His mouth searched for hers. The room was silent, except for their heavy breathing and the occasional sound of fabric being removed. She took off his shirt as he worked at her skirt. He murmured something against her skin and she trembled. He pulled away from her.  
  
"Lorelai…" he held her at a distance from him. "You're so…"  
  
"Beautiful?" Her smile turning into a brief laugh. "I get that a lot."  
  
He smiled. "I love you." He drew her to him again. "I love you so much."  
  
__________  
  
A/N: Yes, this is a very short chapter. Now I am totally stuck. I know last chapter I was thinking about ending it, but I really thought I'd probably continue. Now I'm not sure. I don't know if this chapter really fits with the rest of the story. Please review. I'd love to see what you have to say. Thanks! 


	6. Be Here Now

Don't Go Away  
  
Part 6: Be Here Now  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Summary: Rachel was killed in a car crash. Luke regrets that he never got the chance to tell her (Rachel) how much he loved her before he died. A dream made him realize that that is what has been haunting him and stopped him from mourning Rachel's death. Luke vowed not to let the same thing happen between him and Lorelai and they spent the night together.  
  
A/N: This is the end (I think…). I don't know (still). I hate writing short stories because I never know how to finish them! Ugh! :) All right, so it's up to you if I should think of a way to continue or not or if this chapter should end this particular story (there are other fan fics in the works… By me: 'A Certain Something' and the soon-to-be-posted first chapter of 'Those Three Little Words.') So *please* review or email me and tell me if you think I should continue! Your comments/criticisms are welcome/essential to the future of the story or lack there of. Also, the title of this chapter ("Be Here Now") is the title of the Oasis album that the song "Don't Go Away" (the main title) is on (just incase you were wondering).  
  
Disclaimer: Still have no rights whatsoever to characters or main storylines, etc…  
  
__________  
  
She woke with his arms around her. She knew her face was glowing with happiness. She kissed a line along his shoulders, up his neck, over his chin and face to his lips. He smiled.  
  
"Hmm…I wish I could wake up like this every morning." He said, his voice hoarse. A slow smile spread over her face.  
  
"Last night was right." She whispered, softly.  
  
"Yes." Luke answered.  
  
"This is how it's supposed to be."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"*Us.*" He nodded slowly. She smiled again as he kissed her. When they pulled back, "It's not too soon?"  
  
"Rachel and I said goodbye a long time ago. I've spent a year or a year and a half saying goodbye… She left because of you and if she knew that I let you slip away from me…" He paused, letting his words sink in. "I don't want to be alone anymore."  
  
"You won't be." Lorelai kissed the corner of his mouth. "You'll always have me."  
  
__________  
  
A/N: So, it's short, it's sweet (and kind of corny), and it's *probably* the end. Please don't forget to review! Thanks so much! Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed (some of you more that once! :), as well. I appreciate it! Hope you enjoyed the story! :) 


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